EU meetings: Hetalia Style!

  • Germany: WHY THE FUCK WON'T YOU ALL JUST DO THINGS MY WAY?!!! EVERYTHING WOULD BE SO MUCH DAMN EASIER!!!
  • Prussia: -drawing his old borders on the map behind him, whistling.-
  • Germany: BRUDER, STOP DOING THAT!!!
  • Prussia: NO, I NEED TO EXPRESS MY FEELINGS!!!
  • Hungary: -smacks him round the head with a rolling pin- SO DO I, AND THERE I HAVE.
  • England: Just get so smashed you can't even remember what gender you are anymore, Gilbert.
  • Prussia+Germany: ...What?
  • England: -shrugs- Works for me.
  • America: Dude, you're pathetic.
  • England: YOU'RE ONE TO BLOODY TALK YOU'RE NOT EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE HERE!!!
  • America: I'm the hero, I have to be everywhere!
  • England: HJAHFJGJKHN!!!!
  • America: Calm down, remember your blood pressure, grandpa.
  • England: HOW DARE YOU TALK TO ME LIKE THAT, I AM THE BLOODY UNITED KINGDOM AND I WILL BE RESPECTED!!
  • Everyone: Why?
  • England: ...Why?! Because...because...BECAUSE I HAD AN EMPIRE AND IF I STILL HAD IT YOU'D BE BOWING AT MY FEET!!
  • Germany: But you don't anymore, do you? So shut up and sit down, peasant.
  • Ireland: Boo-yah!!
  • France: Oh Germany, so cold! But wait, what is wrong with Italy? Portugal and Greece don't look too good either...
  • Germany: Don't bother talking to them anymore, France. They only respond to the word 'money'.
  • Italy Bros: WHERE?!!!
  • Germany: Oh shit.
  • Greece+Portugal: MONEYYYYYYYYYYYY!! -both start rampaging through the meeting hall. Everyone else takes cover.-
  • Germany: Oh Gott, I was afraid of this!!
  • England: -trying to salvage his tea essentials while also avoiding the rampaging nations- If you were afraid this would happen, why didn't you take measures to avoid it?!!
  • Germany: ...I don't know!! T_T France, help me!!
  • France: Non, I am too beautiful.
  • Germany: WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!! AND WHERE THE HELL IS SPAIN?
  • France: Taking a siesta, I believe.
  • Germany: -stares for a moment in silence-. ..A SIIIIESSSTTTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA???!!!!
  • France: Oh shit.
  • -a few hours later, Spain's sorry ass is dragged bodily into the meeting hall by a fuming Germany-
  • Germany: SIESTA my blonde white ass!!
  • Spain: Oh come on, this isn't fair~ Five more minutes?
  • Germany: NEIN!!!
  • -Austria starts playing the piano in the corner-
  • Germany: What are you doing?!
  • Austria: Trying to soothe the atmosphere, don't yell at me!!
  • Germany: Come to think of it, where the hell is everyone else?! I told them, 12 o'clock!
  • England: They scarpered because of the rampaging Greece and Italies, obviously.
  • Germany: Oh yes. Hold on...-pacifies rampaging nations- There. You can all come back in now!
  • -they all re-enter-
  • England: OH MY GOD THERE'S MORE OF THEM!! THEY'VE COME TO SABOTAGE ME!!! -dives under the table- PROTECT MEEEE!!
  • America: ...You have problems, man.
  • Romania: We're not all spongers, you know!
  • England: I DON'T CARE!!
  • Bugaria: We do.
  • England: I HAVE STOPPED CARING.
  • Romania: WE WILL MAKE YOU THEN.
  • -magic war commences-
  • Germany: STOP THE MAGIC WAR THIS INSTANT!! SWEDEN, HELP ME!
  • Sweden: -has been blocking the madness out until now-...Hm?
  • France: -to Belgium- What are you doing there?
  • Belgium: I didn't have breakfast this morning, so I brought waffles. -slaps Netherland's hand, as he was trying to pinch one.- No! Bad!
  • Netherlands: Aw.
  • France: Can I have some?
  • Belgium: Sure~!
  • Netherlands; WHAT?!
  • Luxembourg: -evil giggle-
  • Poland: -observing- One side of the room waging a magic war and screaming, the other fawning over waffles...why did I join this stupid club?
  • Lithuania: Um...money?
  • Poland: No, I think it was for the food.
  • Lithuania: Are you sure it wasn't money?
  • Poland: No!
  • Lithuania: ...So you're not sure?
  • Poland: Shut up, Liet!
  • Other Baltics: Maybe if we don't make a sound we'll be alright...
  • Malta: Good plan. I'll join you.
  • Cyprus: Do I hear banging on the door...?
  • -they all look and listen. There is indeed someone banging at the door.-
  • Turkey: LET ME IN YOU BASTARDS!!!
  • Greece: -springing into action- NO, FUCK OFF!
  • Turkey: I REFUSE!! I DESERVE TO BE IN THERE TOO!!
  • Greece: NO YOU DON'T!
  • Turkey: I DO!
  • Greece: DON'T!
  • Turkey: DO!!
  • Germany: SHUT UP! SHUT. UP.
  • -storms over to the door, pulls it open so hard he almost tears it off its hinges, and boots Turkey straight in the face.- TAKE THAT AND STAY OUT.
  • Slovakia: Ooooh.
  • Slovenia: Burn.
  • Germany: The author of this didn't know what to do with you, did she?
  • Both: No she did not.
  • Finland: How do you think I fucking feel?
  • Everyone: O_O
  • Finland: OH EVERYBODY CAN CURSE EXCEPT ME, IS THAT IT?
  • Everyone: ...No?
  • Finland: Well, I think you people are a bunch of immature little sissies! Fuck all of you, I'm going to have lunch!
  • -storms out-
  • England: ...I think we'd all better go, don't you?
  • Germany: Fine, fine, just go...oh Gott, this was a terrible idea, wasn't it?
  • Everyone: Yes.
  • England: Oh, and Prussia's just drawn himself on the map again.